A Hard Woman is Good to Find!

A Good Woman is Hard to Find!

Tomorrow marks a special day in my family. It is the day it all officially began. We will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary on April 29th 2008. My wife and I became fast friends when we first met and over the next few years and many tribulations our relationship grew. I would have to say that probably the turning point was a time when we thought we would no longer be friends. A few months of missing someone who is that important to you tends to make you realize the true value of those relationships. When we again began to share our lives it only took a month or so for us to become engaged.

There are many people that tell us "You've been married so long and still act like you love one another, how do you do it?" Our response is typically "Not only that but we like each other too!" It is not uncommon for modern marriages to breakup after short periods of time. Many people equate this to the honeymoon wearing off. I'm not sure about all the societal and psychological explanations but I have made some observations.

Everyone needs to retain a portion of their individuality while enjoying the common aspects of the couple personality. There needs to be space to let the girls be girls and the boys be boys. The line gets drawn when the activities are damaging to the trust and security of the other. For example she might use some of our money to go buy the latest fashion and I will use a little to buy the latest gadget, but neither of us would make that purchase if it prevented the other from doing so.(mutual respect) Often on anniversaries we have made the big purchases in cooperation with each other, the new multimedia center or dining room set as examples.(common items of agreement) I use money issues as examples because surveys show this is one of the top reasons people split up. But, the rules also apply to other aspects of the relationship.

I suppose that in most relationships people tend to accidentally break that trust(you bought that without discussing it with me). I think the key to making forgiveness easier is to remember the promises you made when you got married and the reasons you were so willing to make those commitments. I often tell my wife I Love Her.(she usually responds in kind but occasionally at tense moments she may respond who are you trying to remind me or you :-)) When we think of the love that we hold for each other and when things are put into prospective that is something that she and I know will never change. That security makes us both feel that we can speak our minds.(and we do) One more piece of advice, don't take yourself too seriously. If you take care of them they will take care of you.

Recently, we were discussing the future relationships of our children and by the end of the discussion it was commonly agreed that we hope they are lucky and diligent enough to find and work with a person that they can have the same kind of relationship as their parents have with each other. I know your thinking spare me the mushy stuff but it is true. I am very proud of the relationship my wife and I have and of the family we have built together. I wish the same for you. Yes I did say work, it takes two people to make a good relationship. Work is a key component of any relationship. It is in our nature to self preserve. When two become one, it is sometimes hard to remind ourselves that self now includes family.

Hey you gorgeous babe Happy Anniversary!